On Leaving Home

I would have to say that in my opinion, leaving home is bitter sweet. At home you know what to expect, you have all your friends, stuff, personal space. But moving on is good, it helps expand your perspective on people and places. Coming to college was probably on of the hardest transitions that I have ever gone through. At home I was comfortable with everything so there was no reason to try new things. I had my friends, school, parents all of which I knew what was expected of me. I had rules, curfew, places I couldn't be and things I wasn't allowed to say. But here its exactly the opposite, there are no real rules as far as what I can or can't do, I can come and go as I please without having to check in. I can say what I want and do what I want. The biggest transition that I am going through though is that I have to be more open and talk to people. Eventhough I did that in high school, it was still within my "group", and I really only hung out with a couple people outside of school. But here that is totally different, I have meet so many people that are really cool but I never would have guessed that they would want to hang out with me. But in doing that I am learning to be more social and how to leave my comfort zone, which is not easy for me by any means.
All during the summer I thought wow I'm going to college this is going to be great, I will have my own life, and at the time couldn't wait to leave and get this new journey started. But as the weeks dwindled down and the final days passed I started to really think about it. Thats when all the doubts started, all the "what if's". I wasn't so sure any more that I really wanted to go to college, that was a huge change that I wasn't sure I was ready to accept. Then I got here and on the first day my friend came over and helped me move in and I realized that it might not be so bad. Then I started hearing things about the classes and what professors not to get, and once again that feeling of not wanting to be here came.
I have to say that eventhough I am having fun I still wake up in the mornings expecting to see my flags on my ceiling and my dog laying next to me. I don't know when it will really sink in that I'm staying. And I still have those thoughts of hey I need to call my parents to let them know where I'm going, then I realize that I don't have to do that anymore.There are still days when I just want to go sit in my room by myself, and I'm not sure why really.